Corrections should be according to below comments:
• the main issue identified by the assessor in both feedback reports is that you have “not fully and explicitly addressed the various elements of the assignment task.” I think that structuring your assignment as a business case is not helping with this point.
• A suggested structure is below for your consideration. particularly the Executive summary which is mentioned by the assessor as needing improvement.
• It will help position the assignment better if you give a brief overview of the organization (xx Airlines) as well as the category of spend.
• Applying Mendelow’s power and interest model will be a good addition to the stakeholder section.
• The assessor mentions that you are over the word count limit for the resubmission. It is not clear if you have actually lost any marks for this, but it is worth you noting that when you add content based on our conversation and this email, you will need to find some elements to not include in the new structure/assignment. Your introduction to the category is quite long, for instance, with some of the content on costs and benefits repeated elsewhere.
• Suggested structure that we discussed:
1. Executive summary (written at the end but included as the first page) – this summarizes your whole assignment in about one page
2. Introduction & background – include info on your organization and the category of spend chosen. Should be quite brief.
3. Stakeholder analysis – outline the importance and impact of the category of spend to your organization’s stakeholders. Use Mendelow power and interest model to assist this section. Your sections on risks and constraints might be better in this section, ie they help to outline the importance and impact which is what the assignment asks for.
4. Market analysis – the assignment tasks says a “brief market analysis”. Porter’s five forces can be applied to the VDI market in this section. Use some of the category specific data that you have included in your business case in this section. STEEPLE and SWOT could also be used but you may not have enough word count. Potentially you could include a SWOT analysis as an appendix so it does not count towards assignment word count – but if you do that, make sure that you explain what the SWOT is trying to achieve in the main body.
5. Approaches to managing prices and costs. Include reference to cost savings in this section, too, because they are specifically mentioned in the assignment brief.
6. Conclusion – how well does your organization’s approach achieve value for money for this category?
7. Recommendations – how can your organization improve its approach to deliver better value for money? (eg manage costs better, improve quality, improve service levels, etc.)
8. References – this section is already good with some good references. These are mostly references about the category, rather than procurement in general, so you may find some more about achieving value for money but don’t worry too much. Also, you have called it a bibliography, but I think it is actually a reference list – the webinar may help with this element, too.
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