My hands were sparking with the power I knew I controlled. Its been a day since I left my world of sanctuary and sanity. A world without power, and with the normalities of life, would be very different from the world I live in now. Now things are completely different. I could feel it in my bones. I looked out on the willow tree that helped me to hone my newfound powers.
My brother helped me with this as well.
The tree was the source of my power, though, and they were soon going to chop it down. I felt the surge of my power coursing through my veins and thought of how easy it would be to just mess this whole operation up with my ability. That wasnt going to work, though, was it? I couldnt just take the power from their chainsaws, for they would find another way. And who knew if I could sabotage that? Well, I knew that at some point I wouldnt be able to save the tree.
I knew that if that tree was going to be cut down, I would be like a bird without its wings. I would be completely and utterly useless.
How would they know that their best maiden was coursing with power? I was SOL and I knew it. I was a Rinne, and I knew that Rinnes didnt give up. They never let go of those who did us or our family wrong. We were always at their whim, their merry beck and call. Those things that did us wrong come after us, and I knew that I would be followed by this beast of burden if it happened. My family wouldnt know what had happened to me. They would just think that I had lost my mind. And I guess in a way I had. If losing my mind was like losing my brain, then yes. I had lost my mind. Not yet. I had a chance to be brave. To do something that would help keep my powers. As of yet, I had nothing.
Youre probably wondering about my brother. Well, he has power. He has the same power I have, but over time you lose the source power. I dont know how it happens, but the more that you harvest power, I think the more you retain it. No one really knows how we become Beholders but most think that after time we all become Source Witches again. Now I dont know about you, but I think thats true. We can only retain so much power so I believe that after a point we have to take our source and drain it. Our sources are strange and completely random, but somehow we find them and we use their power. And eventually the source gets sucked dry and disappear, but they always come back. That is until theyre destroyed.
When the source gets destroyed, the power drains out of the witches that once harvested the power, leaving them defenseless to all but those weaker than themselves. Those people had their sources destroyed years ago. The thing is, you grow weaker as the years grow on without your source. Most cant relocate their sources, so this is going to be really hard. Im just going to have to draw all the power that I can from the source and hope for the best. Ive heard that all of the sources that have been destroyed trying to protect themselves, but in the end, it was ultimately up to the witch.
Seeing as Kustaa shares the same source as me, we will have to double our protecting, and Kustaa will have to draw power as well. Now even as I stand in front of the tree, I can feel its desperation as I circle it. I can tell that she knows shes in for a treat. Her name is Mariakvan. She has been here since the time of the Source Witches. She has not failed to give them power, she has never even disappeared off the map. She has simply been here waiting for us. Waiting for our hands to drink from her bark.
I bow my head, hoping to help the circumstances. Her fear wavers for a minute, turning into worry as she feels my fear. I place my hand on her rough, yet somehow smooth, bark and hear the words she has been yearning to speak; I fear myself, as one fears for as diseased loved one. I fear that my death will spread to you, and others that I have sourced. I know that if I were to die, thousands of others will fall too. If not to death than to weakness. I feel the pulsing of her power underneath my fingers. I can feel the power going into my skin, into my veins, into my brain. Its up to you to save me. My power is now yours. You have an uncanny sense of power that not many have. You can help, and only you can save me.
What of my brother? my words feel scratchy in my throat, they barely make it out of my mouth. I already know her answer.
He cannot help. He is not strong enough. He will bleed me dry and leave nothing for you. He will let you suffer under false pretenses and believe that it was for the best. He will watch you suffer without your power, and not miss his. He doesnt care that he will lose you if he cannot save you. He wants his power, he wants it without shame. He knows not that his power will make him into a source if he bleeds me dry. He only knows his lack. Right now, he lacks power.
He is only eighteen. He has no such devious plans. He feels more than this. Mariakvan? Please let him help, even as I say the words I know of their falseness. We can tell him of his mistake, we can make him better.
You can see those words arent true. You know that his change will only be little. Yet you speak of him as though he has never wronged you. Years of little notice has changed his power for things less than advisable. Your power is a white light. Your source is strong. You know that you can protect me, and the others that will die with me.
I dont even know what to do. I can feel my power, but I cannot feel the instinct that comes with it. All of the witches knew of this instinct. Vaisto, all of the witches gather it and hold it dear to their hearts. I havent found this yet, and it made me feel alone with nothing but my thoughts.
I can see it. Vaisto grows deep in your heart. Kustaa hasnt gained his yet. He cannot see past the despondency that clouds his vision of right and wrong. Magdalena, you hold the last of our hopes in your hands. Only you can save them. Only you can save us.
Her voice was gone now. Just the clouds in my mind that once held her words, Only you can save us. I can feel the power seeping from my pores. I knew if Kustaa was to see me, he would see only the power, not his anguished little sister. I knew that going home would be dangerous, and if Kustaa could even see my face, or got close enough to see the color of my eyes, I would be doomed. in a way, so would Kustaa. If it was true, and he was in fact power-hungry, he would have no problem cutting me open and bleeding me dry of the power that now seeped through my skin.
I could feel the ebbing of it. It was like the ocean was too small to hold the water. The flow of the power came in and out like the tide on a calm day. The power was the water, and my slight build of ninety-two pounds at five feet two inches was the sandy bottom, holding the water as much as I could. Holding the power feels like it takes more energy to do than shooting it into the world. It took an amazing amount of withstanding, that I wasnt sure I was ready for. Yet here I am, amidst the normal trees flowing with sap instead of power.
I had decided to stay away from my home, from fear of what Kustaa might do to me. Holding power like this wasnt easy to hide, though. Even the eyes of animals were watching me. As though they knew I had something to hide, and I did. They just didnt know how detrimental it was to hide it. But it is what it is, and I cant do a single thing about it.
I could feel it, the cloud of power I left behind in every space. I walked in circles, pacing back between tree after tree after tree. I could smell it in the air, a sweet electric smell. Almost like oranges. All I knew was that if Mariakvan died, she would take at least a thousand people down with her. I couldnt let that happen. I dont know why she had picked me as the witch to protect her. I suppose maybe I was the closest witch that could do it. I had bled Mariakvan of her power, so now she couldnt defend herself if I had proved to be incompetent. At this point I was fearing for my life. I was fearing for Mariakvans life, because I was feeling very incompetent.
I had to protect her and that wasnt going to happen if I lacked confidence. Currently, the lack of confidence I felt was overwhelming. Lacking was all that I could think of. I couldnt do this, I couldnt do this. I couldnt. . .
But I had to. That was the way it was, wasnt it? I mean I had no choice. Not only would I lose my life, but I would lose the life of countless others. What would I have to do anyway? I hadnt a clue. If I was to protect all of these people, I wasnt doing a very good job. I just didnt know. No matter what Mariakvan said about me, I knew that I didnt have vaisto. I was utterly normal. No not even that. I was below average, I dont have a simple idea in my head what to do. Thats the way of the world, isnt it? I mean we can have all of these things that we pretend to understand, but in the end, we dont. So I have to. I mean this is what I have to do. I cant just walk around with all of this power pretending that I know what to do. No I have to watch for her. And wait. Being this far away from Mariakvan had scared me, for I knew not when the men would come to cut her down. Taking me and my brother down with her.
My reverie comes to a skidding halt as I hear a twig snap behind me. I didnt realize that this whole time Id been moving towards Mariakvan. I look around, partially to get my bearings, but also to see the fiend. I can hear his footsteps. I can feel his eyes watching. Another snap. This time louder. Closer.